Simply Complex

COMPLEX; adjective, "So complicated or intricate as to be hard to understand or deal with"

But, wait!

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27

Yes......our sweet Victoria is "complex". .....although the next medical person who tells me this should think about self protection.

But wait!

Matthew 6:3

"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

The issue seems to be determining if her complexity is a result of eight years of neglect, eight years of starvation, a syndrome, a diagnosis, ......or all of the above.

But, wait!

We do know.

* Victoria had GROWN.... from 9#6oz to 12# 2oz.

* She loves to be held, and her favorite position is on mama’s chest.

* Little Miss is finding her voice. It is not often....and it is more of a squeal...but it is purposeful communication.

* Cerebral Palsy is an unlikely diagnosis ......MRI will confirm.

*Victoria has some pretty severe issues with her hips....life in a crib or pre-existing condition??....don't know

* Her kidney has either scar tissue or congenital malformation...more testing scheduled with Nephrology. In the meantime prophylactic antibiotics to avoid recurrent UTI's.

* Heart......ultrasound showed NO defects.....despite her medical paperwork from the orphanage stating otherwise.

* Seizures?  Again...MRI will tell us more but though she seems to have a fairly severe seizure history, we have not seen any and the neurologist is not concerned.

Optimistic and complex are not mutually exclusive.....particularly with the knowledge that God seems to revel in the complex....or maybe it is just we who make the simple complex?!

I do know that our complex girl is relatively healthy, growing, happy and loved,

More than we could hope for.....

Two plus hour drive to Shriners......sleepy head traveler.

Special bond....

Still being fed every four hours.....

Such a music girl....maybe someday she will play?

9 month onesies are still HuGe!

Mama likes bows.

Count Your Many Blessings

"Adoption experts and experienced parents always advise families to “cocoon” when coming home with adopted children — which basically means keeping your child’s world very small, predictable, and simple. There’s so much change for them to process, so much stimulation..…the less new stuff thrown at them, the better. And this includes people: A child’s ability to attach to new parents is much more easily accomplished when there’s no one else around to bond with." ~Zoe Saint-Paul

Sorry Sweet Victoria, Mom and Dad have failed miserably on all counts! 

Three different hospitalizations in three weeks.
Two doctors visits.
Three clinic visits.
Multiple multiple blood draws.
Inter muscular injections.
IV's. 
Hotels, airports, loooong flights...oh MY!


But you know what?
She KNOWS home....I can see it in her eyes. 
I can see it in the way her body relaxes. 
I can see it in the reduction of her "stimming"
.....isn't that miraculous?
This girl....this girl waited eight years for a family and by golly she is not going to waste a minute of that!


This last hospital visit was unexpected.  She had a fever that was difficult to break, and she was not "herself". That in itself was a hard call because we don't know her really well yet, but sometimes you just have to listen to mama-gut.
We brought her to the doctor and he felt it was best to hospitalize her.
We are not 100% sure yet but it looks as though she has some kidney issues and kidney scarring which may be caused by multiple untreated UTI 's or possibly a congenital issue.
She will be treated with low dose antibiotics and we follow up with nephrology at our children's hospital.
If all shows normal, then we continue to search for the cause of fevers and elevated white blood cell counts.

In addition to nephrology the next few weeks hold appointments for Neurology, as well Neurodevelopment and Shriners (yay...love Shriners)...and of course always the overriding goal of weight gain and feeding clinic.
 
We have yet to meet a doctor or nurse whose jaw does not drop when they learn our girl is eight...

Guess what though?  Our girl has a belly button now.  Ever so tiny...an indentation in her tummy! That means she has a little bit of fat.....enough to allow that little tummy to show a touch of that precious button. Praising God!



We are so blessed by this girl. Every single thing about her!

Amazing Grace. Unfailing Love.

Three weeks. 

HOME three weeks. 

How amazing to use that word. HOME!

It has been beautiful....heartbreakingly beautiful.

How can a girl of eight (January 15) be eleven pounds?  

But then.....hallelujah ...she has gained from 9.8 # on pickup.

How very sad that she turns her head away from us....as far as she can possibly turn it to avoid interaction...UNTIL!!!.....she hears music. It is then that her eyes light up and she seeks that interaction. How amazing that she let us in on that little secret....thank you for revealing that to us Lord!

How my heart breaks when she whimpers each time we reach to pick her up. No child should EXPECT to be handled roughly....ever. Yet how my heart overflows when she melts into me, and feels safe enough to fall asleep on my chest.

So much yet to discover.

Cardiology. Neurology. Orthopedic. Feeding. Genetics. Cranio-facial.

Blessed that our other children love their sis.....and seem to understand the time these things take.

Can she walk? Talk? Roll over? Eat?......nope.

Is she a "joyous blessing"? 

Is Victoria "a gift from the LORD"?

No doubt.

Are some days and nights tough?  Of course, many!

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Amazing Grace.

Unfailing Love. 

Shown to us every moment by Jesus.....

So thankful His mercies are new every morning.

Thank you for your support.

Thank you for believing in us. 

Thank you for helping us bring this little miracle into our lives.

Her Life Mattered

We began the journey in the dark.....a three hour drive from the capital city. As we traveled east the sky began to turn pink and then as though there was no time to waste, the sun, beautiful and blinding.

This was the day......

The day we would take our daughter through the front doors of the orphanage....to forevermore be loved and cherished.

The day we would pay tribute to those children who left that orphanage through the back doors.....to be laid to rest....forevermore loved and cherished in the arms of Jesus.

We drove through the town continuing to the outskirts...winding roads...off in the distance the hills were white with headstones....honoring the lives of those now gone.

We parked at the entrance. Women their backs bent, their hands wrinkled, faces creased, selling flowers, roses, carnations, wild flowers.  We buy flowers....They will be able to feed their families tonight.

We are not sure where to go....where were these forgotten children laid to rest? Past the white headstones, farther we drive, the road is no longer paved, the grave markers are now wooden crosses. How many...how many?  We are searching for one.  We have received permission to honor one. 

I do not need permission to weep for them all.

"SORROWFUL NEWS 

With deep grief and sadness we announce that Hristina M----I-----passed away on November 09, 2015, at the age of 5 years old.

The most fragile bloom, a small green branch that was snapped,

Her life wasted away like a tiny flame

And our grief doesn't,  doesn't have an end,

And our mourning is a dark night.

WITH LOTS OF LOVE AND ENDLESS SORROW! 

The funeral will take place on November 11, 2015, at 10:00 am in S----Z-----

From the grieving"

We have found her.....this little girl so full of life.

This little one who for five years was hidden  away, ignored, starved. How ironic that in death she is recognized. In death her name is known. 

Tears of grief. Tears of anger.  Tears of regret.

We light a candle, we place our flowers and an angel, we say a prayer. 

I lay my hand on that rocky soil and I tell her how very sorry I am.

 I tell her that her life mattered, that she was the most special girl.

I tell her her mama loved her deeply, her mama knew her worth, her mama did her very best to get to her in time. But God needed her first. 

I slowly stand and look over the endless sea of wooden crosses and I know in that sea are others...so many others. 

Children we never heard about, orphans who by all intents and purposes never existed.

How can that be? 

Oh God ,these little ones....these children who live behind those closed doors...how can they live and suffer and die and never feel the loving touch of a mama, never feel that tickle of a daddy's whiskers, never know they are worthy. 

“Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work.” 

― Mother Theresa

We are silent as we leave.

We travel to the orphanage ....the place where these forgotten children live. My daughter waits for me. It is time.

But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven."

Matthew 19:14 

One More....

Victoria is HOME!  Amazingly, she was released from the hospital last night and spent her first night sleeping in her very own bed.  

One more precious orphan, Christopher, will be sprung from the same orphanage in just 18 days.  

We still have spots in the gift card giveaway.  Let's wrap this up and get them awarded!  Someone will win $100, Folks! 

Prizes:
$100 at Shop Source
$25 at iTunes
$25 at Target
$10 at Starbucks
$10 at Target
$10 at Target

THIS GIVEAWAY IS COMPLETE! 

Entries are $10 to mamato5girls@yahoo.com.  Forward the receipt to bornagainandproud@yahoo.com.

This little boy is so valuable.  Let's push through to see him HOME, too.

Arrived

After a very long and sometimes difficult trip, Victoria has arrived in the US.  She is currently admitted to the hospital, where she will remain for days, at least, perhaps a few weeks.  Please pray.

Thanksgiving prayers for her survival through the flight.
Against re-feeding syndrome and other digestive troubles.
For comfort as she endures IV's, blood draws and other procedures.
Strength, for me.

More later. 
Love you all.

Victoria Ann......Victory is Yours!

Victoria Ann......Victory is Yours!

Sweet girl almost seems to know she needed LOVE maybe more than nutrition. 

She is such a cuddle bug.

We arrived at Victoria's orphanage on Monday after having gotten permission to make a stop to put flowers on sweet Heavenleigh’s gravesite. Such an emotional visit....but that is for a separate post.

It was about a three hour drive from her orphanage back to the capital city where we went immediately to get Victoria's passport photo taken (in her car seat as she cannot sit) . We then headed to the hospital and had her admitted and settled into her room, along with a basketful of diagnosis that the admitting Doctor seemed to think had little to do with the fact that she spent eight years in a crib systematically being starved. But I digress.

The stay in the hospital was unfortunately not a good one and as soon as Nurse Maureen arrived on Friday we were able to have Victoria released and we returned to the hotel where we are monitoring her blood sugar with heel pricks, monitoring her O2, and feeding her every three hours round  the clock via NG....

Refeeding Syndrome is a real concern for a child who is not even 10 pounds at almost 8 years old...and who's body has fed itself on its own muscles...

Today, Monday , we will go to the US Embassy and have our VISA Interview, and we will also go to a local clinic and get a complete blood panel done to see if we are safe to fly home.

It is literally unbelievable how quickly this little girl has changed.....last Monday she was a shell of a girl...her eyes dull and flitting aimlessly, her body and spirit turned in on themselves, no life to be found....no hope. Five days later her eyes are bright, she seeks me out, she coos and smiles, her body is relaxed. 

Oh Lord....how blessed I am to be able to witness this miracle unfold.

When we picked Victoria up from the orphanage her paper work stated Deep Mental Delay. When we checked her into the hospital we were told she had Severe Neurological  Impairment.

We don't know what the coming years hold for this precious girl or how her development will play out.  We do know that her development does not determine her worth, her potential does not equate to her value, the love we have for her is not dependent on her accomplishments.

She is a girl who LOVES music.....we play it for her and then we help her sign "more" .....and we play it again.

Take a look at this video....the "experts" did not account for the Power of Love.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=3IZ_yVw-0cA

Matching Grant

Great news!  Lauren was offered a $500 matching grant by the Anonymous Angels!  You can 'double' your donation AND enter our Gift Card Galore giveaway for every $5 you donate to Lauren by paypal (and don't forget to send $5 to Lynda Collicot, too!)

Donate to Lauren by Paypal to dadhorton@comcast.net
Donate to Lynda by Paypal to mamato5girls@yahoo.com

You can also help match the $500 grant by donating tax deductibly to Lauren's FSP account.

Victoria (Hope) is slowly being rehydrated and nourished. Please continue to pray against refeeding syndrome, as her body learns to digest, for extraordinary wisdom for the doctors treating her, and for the final paperwork to be finished quickly so she can endure the flight to America. 

In Hospital, Please Pray

Lauren and Victoria have reached the hospital and Victoria is getting treatment.  Her condition is very precarious and she is unbelievably tiny and fragile. Please storm heaven for this little one's precious life.  Please pray that the doctors would make wise choices in her care and that she can be stabilized and on her way as soon as possible.  

On Her Way!

Lauren is traveling now, crossing the ocean and continents to bring home a hidden treasure.  Please pray for traveling mercies, ease of transfers, safety....Please continue to remember Victoria in your prayers. May she need little stabilization before flying home.  

We still have entries left in the Gift Card giveaway that benefits Lauren and Lynda.  Details from the previous blog:

Entries are $10; with $5 sent with the friend/family option to EACH family.  Of course you may donate more and earn more entries.  We are limiting this giveaway to 50 entries. Time is so limited, so please share this post. If you share, let me know by leaving a comment and you will get a free entry.

Paypal Lauren's donations to dadhorton@comcast.net.

Paypal Lynda's donations to mamato5girls@yahoo.com. 

Send your receipt to this address and your name will go into the drawing. I will draw for the cards in the order listed above as soon as all 50 paid entries have been claimed.

I will post pictures and updates as soon as I am able. 

Gift Cards Galore!

$100 at Shop Source WINNER-Katie L.
$25 at iTunes WINNER- Heather N.
$25 at Target WINNER-Denee L.
$10 at Starbucks WINNER-Anna K.
$10 at Target WINNER-Laurel F.
$10 at Target WINNER-Swaddles

These are the gift cards that are available in this giveaway.

It's a barebones affair.

We are all worn out.

Lauren leaves to pick up Hope in just three days.

Lynda Collicot is picking up Christopher January 15th.

Both children must be hospitalized before they can be flown to the US for more hospitalization.

Two fragile, discarded children from one orphanage in one country. Two families called by God to sacrifice greatly to bring these children home.  Two, who know no love, who are about to experience a whole new world.

Can you help these two families with their final push to fully funded?

Entries are $10. Of course you may donate more and earn more entries.  We are limiting this giveaway to 50 paid entries. Time is so limited, so please share this post. If you share, let me know by leaving a comment and you will get a free entry.

Paypal Lauren's donations to dadhorton@comcast.net. (Lauren is FULLY FUNDED!  Any donations sent now will go toward medical care here in the States.)

Paypal Lynda's donations to mamato5girls@yahoo.com.

Send your receipt to this address and your name will go into the drawing. I will draw winners for the cards in the order listed above as soon as all 50 paid entries have been claimed. The more you donate, the more chances you will have to win! 

Thank you for praying for these precious children and their families.

"God sets the solitary in families;

He brings out those who are bound into prosperity;" 
Ps. 68:6a

Gratitude and Coconut Oil

How can I be so excited about transferring coconut oil from our big jar into a little plastic container so that I can sooth our sweet girls tiny, dry feet?  Oh my goodness.....I get such joy just thinking of being able to do this in less than ONE WEEK.

Less than one week...yep, it's true!

.....we still do not have an accurate estimation of what hospitalization in country will cost us....but HALLELUJAH ...we received an extremely generous gift from dear friends that will definitely put a dent in the hospitalization fees.

I have to tell you the story. 

This incredible couple are not "rich". She is a nurse and is recovering from a serious work related injury and is in pretty much constant pain.  He is a disabled vet who drives long haul truck to make ends meet.  After years of fighting the system he received a small settlement from the VA and a slight increase in his monthly stipend.

What did they choose to do with that settlement??

Yes......that is why we now have some of the funding needed to hospitalize Victoria!  What a gift, what an honor, what a blessing !

We are $2215 from fully funded for actual adoption expenses........

Our fsp will need to read $22,900.

We have a $170 matching grant right now ...when our fsp reads 20,745.37....... The "Angel" will donate $ 170.

Would love to have all adoption expenses covered by the time I leave on December 12th.

So grateful for each and every one of you who have come alongside us and encouraged us with prayers, kind words, and financial support.  Thank you.